Do Not Ingest

donotingest

I am back from a fun-filled and exhausting family vacation to the land of Disney. All of this exhaustion has me remembering how wiped out I was after having my second baby seven years ago. All of us have experienced sleep deprivation whether we have kids or not. However, if you have kids then you know just how crippling and dementia-inducing it can be. So, on that note I have little story for you with a product review mixed in.

It was the year 2010 and I had a three month old chubby baby boy that hated to sleep. Even when he was actually sleeping he squirmed, grunted, and growled the entire time. His bassinet was next to my bed, but alas, it didn’t see much use. The only way that any of us could get a minuscule amount of slumber was for Thing 2 to be sleeping on my chest while I patted his back. Needless to say I was TIRED!!!! Due to the copious amounts of breastfeeding that I was doing I was constantly thirsty as well. On my nightstand I kept a plastic water bottle that you have to squeeze to get the water to come out. I kept water near me at all times because my mouth constantly felt like I regularly snacked on cotton balls. Next to the water bottle was my trusty Eucerin Skin Calming Creme for my itchy dry winter skin. Do you know where I am going with this?

This is exactly how I remember it playing out in my head: So tired, can’t move. Gotta move, need water. Must sleep. Oh man, I passed out again. Still so thirsty. Ok, roll baby off of my chest with the the feather-light ease of a thousand fairies on LSD. Please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up! Score! He is off of my chest and still sleeping! Ugh, I’m so tired. Whoa, I just passed out again. Must get water. Found water, now squeezing life-sustaining liquid into my mouth. Oh god, what the hell?! What is this fowl, viscous, creamy water that has just assaulted my palette?? OOOO.MMM.GGGG. OMG!!!!! Its lotion!!!! Spit it out, spit it out!! Fell asleep again. There’s lotion in my hand? Well, I don’t want to waste it so I might as well rub it in. Passing out again.

Shortly after that I came to more fully and thought I had dreamed the entire lotion incident. That’s when I felt the greasy coating in my pie hole and realized that I had actually filled my mouth with the stuff. I then proceeded to wake Jack up and frantically confuse him by saying “I ate the lotion! I ate the lotion!”. The next morning he was laughing hysterically at me. He almost had an unfortunate accident that day.

So this brings me to my product review. Pacific Northwest winters are not kind to my skin. It gets very itchy, especially at night for some reason. I decided to give Eucerin Calming Creme a try due to the added ingredient of colloidal oatmeal. Almost instantly the angry itch truly does calm down. I love the thick texture of this lotion and it absorbs well. It’s not greasy feeling unless you try to eat it, which is definitely not recommended. Oatmeal, good. Oatmeal lotion, not so good. If you have sensitive, itchy, or eczema-prone skin then I highly recommend this fragrance-free calming lotion. Just do not ingest, please.

Do you have any sleep deprivation stories? If so then please share them in the comments below!

calmingcreme

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